Like seriously what am I worried about? Why am I stressing over something that hasn’t even happened? Funny thing is, I am not even stressing about the thing, I’m stressing over the outcome of said thing. Mad how your mind works.
Whilst I’m sitting here typing my head is having an argument, you know the kind of argument where your brain thinks of a scenario that could happen, and then you decide that is what is going to happen. It’s the hypothetical thought of a scenario that is making you stress. The thing is you know its hypothetical and you keep trying to tell your brain this, but its having none of it. Why are your emotions so stubborn? Its like they wont shift.
For me personally I’m doing alright, I think its probably because I’m still working and have worked all the way through this, that has definitely made it easier. I have used my spare time to try a whole new range of hobbies and activities during lockdown from growing a beard to running a half marathon. More on those later…
Let’s start off from the beginning, I remember when I went to Australia in January and my mate turned to me and was like ‘oh my god, 7 people have this thing called Corona in Australia’, which I’ll be honest, I just replied sarcastically with ‘wow mental’. Little did we know what it would turn into. I mean it was a bit like oh this isn’t good when we walked through Singapore airport on our layover on the way home and there were armed guards with heat sensors checking to see if people had a high temperature.
As I pointed out at the end of my last blog, my friends didn’t really care, I mean why would they? They understood me, they saw me as no different. But what about everybody else? I was going back into the world again, but this time with a reason as to why I was me. How do you cope with such a label?
So what a perfect starting point to this blog…
The 7th February 2014 was the day my life changed, as this was the day I was diagnosed with Aspergers.
I was 20 at the time, I had gone through school and well, unsuccessfully college, my early years had passed and I was going into adulthood. I had a good social circle, I was going out on lad weekends, playing football for the local football team and working at the local Cooperative Food store. Life for me at 20 was very normal, well I perceived it as ‘normal’.